@codalion
“Dude’s a massive creep. It’s not that I don’t have any patience for people who’ve done bad things under bad circumstances in the past, but he practically brags about it.”
Truth.
I come from a pretty messed-up past, too. However, being a feminist ally isn’t about my story or how I’m a different person now. It’s about listening to women and supporting them in the struggle. Not calling yourself a leader and go around telling women how to be feminists.
(sigh)
It’s really no wonder to me that allies are viewed with such suspicion when we have guys like him.
Q:Hey Edman, how is your day so far? I think it is considered "evening" where you are. Anyway, I am very fascinated with male feminism, and my boyfriend is trying really, really hard to grasp the concept as well. I was wondering if you could tell me a little about your path to feminism, and maybe elaborate on what male feminism is to you? My guy, I believe, still has a ways to go... Thanks in advance (no hurry, btw)! P.S. I told him to follow you - he's girlyouknowitsdrew.tumbr
Well, I have a ways to go myself, but I’m happy to help in any way I can. First, some history:
My path to feminism really started back in 2006. I was married, but we were in a very strictly gendered relationship. I had also recently left my faith in god behind, but was still trying to complete my degree at the Christian university I attended.
With the collapse of my entire worldview, I was suddenly free to question everything, and I certainly did. Over the next couple years, I would go from Christian to atheist, from mild conservative to a hard liberal, and from someone who believed in and supported strict gender roles to someone who wanted perfect egalitarianism. It wasn’t the reason for the divorce, but it certainly helped it along.
Needless to say, once that relationship was over, I really began to rethink the way I wanted relationships, even friendships, to work. I hadn’t been allowed to be friends with women for over three years at that point, so it was eye-opening to regroup and meet new women who had very different ways of viewing things from what I had previously known.
I guess it was at least partially a case of being in the right place at the right time, because after a while of floating in this philosophical limbo, I was finally introduced to feminism properly by a friend, thelichqueen, who was just getting into it herself at the time. She challenged my misguided notions of egalitarianism, and pointed out the ways in which privilege and patriarchy worked to my advantage. That was really when the light bulb turned on in my head, and it finally started making sense.
Since then, I’ve found that the real catalyst for my change in mindset was that I was finally listening to what women had to say, and paying close attention to their shared experiences. I immersed myself in feminist blogs and groups, and meeting my Tumblr friends has certainly given me insights into feminism that I would never have had otherwise.
As for what “male feminism” means to me, it means being the best ally that I possibly can be. It means supporting and really listening to the women I meet. It means recognizing patriarchal attitudes that creep up in my life, and actively working against them. It means challenging men around you when they spout off sexist bullshit. It means treating women like people and not objects. It also means that while I’m not perfect and that I do have all these inherent privileges, that I consistently make an effort to become a better person.
Anyhow, I hope that answers your question. I also did some searching of my archives, and found another ask which tangentially addresses some of the same issues.
Also, to offset the utter seriousness of this ask, here is a picture of a feathered Tyrannosaurus Rex. Completely badass, no?
i don’t understand why some feminists have to be such haters of babies, to the point where they want to REMOVE A PART OF THEIR BODY just because it’s a function for babymaking/nursing
I have no idea what the context of the conversation is, but I gather they are referring to their ovaries.
While I’m sure that there are some women who genuinely hate children, the vast majority of childfree women I’ve met are pretty indifferent to kids, and simply don’t want to have any of their own. And even if they are a little hostile, I think it’s pretty well justified.
They are told day after day that the only real way they can find fulfillment is by giving birth to and raising children. They are badgered by friends and family to reproduce, and if they dissent, they are told they are selfish. It’s utter nonsense.
That said, can you really blame them for wanting to remove an organ which constantly threatens them with a MASSIVE life change like having a child? I had a vasectomy in order to prevent myself from having children, but were I a woman, removing the ovaries would definitely be an option (although there are far less invasive means of sterilization nowadays, so I recommend those).
Source: prettyinpunk425
Kitteh Neon Does Not Take Prisoners: I confess...
Feminist Ryan Gosling is obviously hilarious, but honestly, a man who can talk about that shit and it’s not pandering or angling for pussy is a huge turn-on. My dude talks about fem theory with me for hours and it’s legit his interest, like,…
Personally, I really loathe when that argument is leveled at me - especially by “brogressives.”
I am a feminist ally because I finally see the patriarchal bullshit for what it is, and because it hurts the people I love. Full stop.
If anything, being a feminist has substantially narrowed my dating pool, because I don’t think I could seriously date someone who DIDN’T identify as feminist.
Source: golden-notebook
When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?
Sandi Toksvig WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER REBLOG THIS QUOTE
(via the-madame-hatter)
(via catladysoul)
I’m taking a class called The Archaeology of Sex and Gender (I’m an anthropology and art history major), and we were studying female figurines from the Neolithic era. Some girl in my class brought up the point that when male figurines with giant phalli were discovered, they were interpreted by academics as symbols of power. When female figures with giant vulvas were discovered, they were interpreted by academics as symbols of fertility. “Why can’t the giant vulva be a symbol of power too?” she asked.
It blew my mind and reaffirmed my decision to study anthropology and art history.
(via strugglingtobeheard)
Always seek knowledge
(via newwavefeminism, learninglog)
Always reblog. This is so awesome.
(via sanityscraps)
(via poptartslutzz)
(via your-nibs)
(via collectingapples) (via storybook)
Such a good quote.
Source: learninglog
Source: freckledgnome
Feminist Media Criticism, George R.R. Martin’s A Song Of Ice And Fire, And That Sady Doyle Piece
I totally stole this from harrenhalsghost’s Facebook page, but I think Tumblr needs it, too. It’s really good.
Why I am Much More Bothered by Racism and White Privilege in the Feminist Movement
I get a lot more upset when I see racism and unchecked privilege in white people who actively identify as feminist than I am when I see just general unchecked privilege. The reason for that is that, as an active feminist, you are aware of the social justice theories: You are aware of the concept of privilege. You are (or at least, should be) aware of the concept of intersectionality. Because of that, you can no longer claim ignorance. And so if you can call out guys for their male privilege, you had best be checking your white privilege.
Very often, when I talk to white people (most often people who also identify as feminist) about racism and fighting racism, the discussion quickly turns to how I need to make that message palatable to white people - because otherwise they just won’t listen, or they just won’t understand, or they won’t be open to my point of view. And the white person I’m talking with will say that I shouldn’t be so angry about it, or that I need to make sure that I’m not alienating people with my message, or that I should clarify that I’m not talking about all white people.
I have a serious, serious problem with that.
What I’m reacting to is this:
A lot of feminist thought nowadays is that you can’t police the way that women talk about their experiences with sexism. Women need to be able to talk about sexism without making the message palatable to men. If men are uncomfortable, then they need to learn to check their privilege, because women aren’t responsible for the hurt feelings of men. They shouldn’t be silenced or edited for the sake of gaining male support. The onus is not on the women to make their message palatable to men.
And it frustrates me to no end that the same people who hold the above view about feminism cannot apply that to anti-racism, and are all too eager to police how people of color talk about their experiences with racism. I’m not allowed to get angry or even visibly frustrated. I’m not allowed to raise my voice. I have to carefully navigate calling out white people on racism so that I can retain the upper hand and not be dismissed as just another angry black person.
And I have had to do this with people who identify as feminist, who seem to be all about not silencing and not policing when the discussion is about white women talking about feminism as it relates to themselves.
And so yes, I am angrier when I see unchecked privilege and racism in the feminist movement. Because you should know to check your privilege, and you should know how to react when someone calls you out on your privilege.
You should know better.
Important words that all of us should read and take to heart.
Source: lemuffinmistress
Pointing out that men are privileged in no way denies that bad things happen to men. Being privileged does not mean men are given everything in life for free; being privileged does not mean that men do not work hard, do not suffer. In many cases – from a boy being bullied in school, to a soldier dying in war – the sexist society that maintains male privilege also does great harm to boys and men.
In the end, however, it is men and not women who make the most money; men and not women who dominate the government and the corporate boards; men and not women who dominate virtually all of the most powerful positions of society. And it is women and not men who suffer the most from intimate violence and rape; who are the most likely to be poor; who are, on the whole, given the short end of patriarchy’s stick.
(via bajo-el-mar)
Source: gerutha
What’s the worst thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back, now. You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank. Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term ‘mangina.’ Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.
Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Women’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters
By Jessica Valenti
(via thehaoleone)
(via fat-witch)
Source: thehaoleone
A Few Things To Stop Doing When You Find a Feminist Blog
Here is the thing, okay? Coming into a feminist conversation with, “Have you considered that sometimes women acquire free drinks at bars?” is like walking into graduate school during Philosophy finals and saying, “Have you considered that the color blue that I see may not be the color blue that you see?”
Imagine you are the guy who just walked into that Philosophy class and laid that shit down. Imagine the class full of students who have worked very hard and committed themselves and sacrificed to be here, students who have spent several years of their lives learning about this subject. Imagine now their feelings when you go to the head of the classroom with a smirk on your face and demand the professor give you an A for effort. Imagine now that they think you are a douchebag asshole, because they do, and because you are. You are a douchebag asshole because you are obviously so self-centered, arrogant, and completely ignorant of the world around you, that you thought you could walk into a high-level course with no background and no work and say something profoundly simplistic and totally unrelated and also everybody should congratulate you for having done this thing, so brave, so provocative.
Source: yarr-metis
Chart of the Day: The Most Depressing Pay Gap Statistic You’ve Seen Today
Women have to have a PhD to make as much as a man with a BA.
Men with some college but no degree earn about the same a women with a BA.
(via thelichqueen)
Source: kaysteiger.com
