Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Barry Switzer, former football coach for college and professional teams, giving what I think is a marvelous definition of privilege.
(via cognitivedissonance)
Pretty friggin’ spot on.
(via yarr-metis)
Nailed it.
(via ganymedelaufeyson)
Source: cognitivedissonance
Why I am Much More Bothered by Racism and White Privilege in the Feminist Movement
I get a lot more upset when I see racism and unchecked privilege in white people who actively identify as feminist than I am when I see just general unchecked privilege. The reason for that is that, as an active feminist, you are aware of the social justice theories: You are aware of the concept of privilege. You are (or at least, should be) aware of the concept of intersectionality. Because of that, you can no longer claim ignorance. And so if you can call out guys for their male privilege, you had best be checking your white privilege.
Very often, when I talk to white people (most often people who also identify as feminist) about racism and fighting racism, the discussion quickly turns to how I need to make that message palatable to white people - because otherwise they just won’t listen, or they just won’t understand, or they won’t be open to my point of view. And the white person I’m talking with will say that I shouldn’t be so angry about it, or that I need to make sure that I’m not alienating people with my message, or that I should clarify that I’m not talking about all white people.
I have a serious, serious problem with that.
What I’m reacting to is this:
A lot of feminist thought nowadays is that you can’t police the way that women talk about their experiences with sexism. Women need to be able to talk about sexism without making the message palatable to men. If men are uncomfortable, then they need to learn to check their privilege, because women aren’t responsible for the hurt feelings of men. They shouldn’t be silenced or edited for the sake of gaining male support. The onus is not on the women to make their message palatable to men.
And it frustrates me to no end that the same people who hold the above view about feminism cannot apply that to anti-racism, and are all too eager to police how people of color talk about their experiences with racism. I’m not allowed to get angry or even visibly frustrated. I’m not allowed to raise my voice. I have to carefully navigate calling out white people on racism so that I can retain the upper hand and not be dismissed as just another angry black person.
And I have had to do this with people who identify as feminist, who seem to be all about not silencing and not policing when the discussion is about white women talking about feminism as it relates to themselves.
And so yes, I am angrier when I see unchecked privilege and racism in the feminist movement. Because you should know to check your privilege, and you should know how to react when someone calls you out on your privilege.
You should know better.
Important words that all of us should read and take to heart.
Source: lemuffinmistress
Pointing out that men are privileged in no way denies that bad things happen to men. Being privileged does not mean men are given everything in life for free; being privileged does not mean that men do not work hard, do not suffer. In many cases – from a boy being bullied in school, to a soldier dying in war – the sexist society that maintains male privilege also does great harm to boys and men.
In the end, however, it is men and not women who make the most money; men and not women who dominate the government and the corporate boards; men and not women who dominate virtually all of the most powerful positions of society. And it is women and not men who suffer the most from intimate violence and rape; who are the most likely to be poor; who are, on the whole, given the short end of patriarchy’s stick.
(via bajo-el-mar)
Source: gerutha
It’s my hope to one day find other guys IRL who “get it” with regard to feminism and other SJ stuff. I need “guy time,” but without all the bullshit that makes my eyes roll.
It must be difficult to fine. I considered dating this guy who said he was a feminist, then used “tard” in his OKC profile, and then, when I explained to him why that was hypocritical, he told me that I was “lecturing” and I wasn’t allowed to educate him without his permission.
FAIL.
(facepalm)
Admittedly, I’ve got a long way to go - but when someone calls you out, it’s important to be able to stop and accept where you’ve fucked up instead of getting defensive.
Also, “educate without permission”? WTF?
Source: edman
…despite being an atheist and online activist, I don’t touch movement atheism with a 10-foot pole. Were it a place merely hostile to feminist women and outspoken survivors of sexual assault, well, so is the rest of the world. Of course, the rest of the world doesn’t passionately advocate against ignorance, only to feign it when asked to examine its privilege.
Melissa McEwan, Shakesville
This is in regard to the Rebecca Watson / PZ Myers / Richard Dawkins snafu that happened over the past week or so. I haven’t been keeping close tabs on it, but none of it is shocking to me.
I used to be much more involved in atheist activism, at least until I became more aware of how it’s become a haven for misogyny and unexamined privilege. I still support what they are working towards, especially from the likes of Phil Plait and Hemant Mehta. However, I just cannot abide all the bullshit, MRA advocates, and rape apologism that creeps to the front whenever the radical idea of treating women like real, actual people is brought up.
Random thought while I was pondering the last post about privilege:
Some of the most racist people I have ever talked to refuse to acknowledge the concept of privilege, yet they freely say “I’m glad I was born a white male in America.”
Like, really? Because those benefits of being a white male? That’s called privilege. (facepalm)
“Gay Girl in Damascus” is Actually a White American Dude
The whole thing is just all kinds of WTF, but one of his defenses stood out to me in particular:
I do not believe that I have harmed anyone — I feel that I have created an important voice for issues that I feel strongly about.
Really, bro? Propagating a false, titillating narrative about an attractive lesbian blogger from the Middle East (hello fetishization!) being kidnapped by the government is in no way harmful to, or distracting from, the actual people being kidnapped and oppressed every day?
I don’t give a shit about whether you “feel strongly” about the issue. You are a god-damned heterosexual white man in the American South - the very apex of societal privilege in your region - and you should just keep your damn mouth shut and be an ally to the oppressed. You don’t need to be a voice for them. They have their own voices. Instead, I recommend doing what you can to ensure their voices are heard. Anything else is a gross misuse of privilege, condescending, and frankly, kind of creepy.
Bioware Tells Straight Men to Get Over Being Hit on By Gay Men in Dragon Age 2
The romances in the game are not for “the straight male gamer”. They’re for everyone. We have a lot of fans, many of whom are neither straight nor male, and they deserve no less attention. We have good numbers, after all, on the number of people who actually used similar sorts of content in DAO and thus don’t need to resort to anecdotal evidence to support our idea that their numbers are not insignificant… and that’s ignoring the idea that they don’t have just as much right to play the kind of game they wish as anyone else. The “rights” of anyone with regards to a game are murky at best, but anyone who takes that stance must apply it equally to both the minority as well as the majority. The majority has no inherent “right” to get more options than anyone else.
And the person who says that the only way to please them is to restrict options for others is, if you ask me, the one who deserves it least. And that’s my opinion, expressed as politely as possible.
Oh Bioware (and specifically David Gaider), I love you.
Fucking. Epic.
I love it.
Source: thelichqueen
Q:First things first, I have a big internet crush on you! If only you could update your tumblr as fast as I can refresh it...
What prompted you to change from being a PDD to being a bad ass awesome feminist ally?
Ha! I’m flattered; thank you. :)
As far as my metamorphosis from Privilege Denying Dude to what I am today (certainly not badass, but definitely an ally) - allow me to share a bit (or a lot) of my past.
I come from an Evangelical Southern Baptist family, and pretty much everyone I came into contact with during my early years was about the same. Gender roles weren’t really something to be questioned, and the church’s message was complementarian: the whole “the man is the head of the household like Christ is the head of the Church, etc, etc” thing. There was a brief flicker of hope for me in my early college years, when I was engaged to a very progressive young woman, and together we eschewed what the church said about gender roles.
After an exceptionally rough couple of years involving me struggling with massive depression, loss of both my grandfather and fiancee (not dead; just dumped), being fired, temporarily homeless, etc, I basically had a “come to Jesus” moment, and I quickly left behind any progressive views I had in favor of social stability within the church, and a future as a pastor.
Cut to several years later. I was done with college, in a toxic marriage, and in the middle of a massive upheaval in my ideology. At first it felt like God had stopped answering my prayers, and after a lot of study, reflection, and de-compartmentalization of my ideas, I realized: God did not exist.
As unrelated as it may seem, my leaving the Christian faith and becoming an atheist has pretty much everything to do with my slow crawl towards feminist ally. At that time in my life, I was questioning everything, and as a result, I began to question my views towards women, and their place in our society.
After coming to terms with where our futures lay, the marriage amicably ended, and for along time I considered myself an egalitarian, completely unaware that feminism was still a thing, and an important thing at that.
Then I met a good friend who was really starting to blossom as a feminist herself. She introduced me to all sorts of websites, literature, and ideas about feminism, and has been a consistent “face of feminism” to me for a while.
I know she’s reading this, and probably red from hearing how thankful I am for her, but it’s true. I may have come to feminism later on, but it wouldn’t have happened without actually meeting some feminists and having my preconceptions knocked down.
So, next time you’re arguing with a Privilege Denying Dude, just remember that you may be one of those people he’d thank later down the line for showing him a better way to view women.
This question keeps me awake all night, tossing and turning. Why, why, has America been so cruel to white males? They ask for so little. And what do they get?
Well, besides everything.
Somebody better hold me back.
What? I just…I don’t even. Did they even look at the picture?
I was really sad to hear about how Privilege Denying Dude was killed because of the model’s complaints, or possibly because of some conflict with iStock. Either way, the moral is: don’t mess with white dudes. They’ll send you a Cease & Desist. Or delete your Tumblr blog.
Anyhow, I read comments on several blogs (namely Tiger Beatdown and Jezebel) asking for some willing feminist dude to stand up and volunteer to be the new Privilege Denying Dude. To this end, I humbly submit that I, one of the most privileged members of society, might be that face you are looking for.
I snapped a shot of my most smug face, and recreated a few of my favorite Privilege Denying Dudes, as seen below.
Also, at the top is a downloadable template, so you ladies and gentlemen can run wild with it should you see fit.
Note: I do not endorse the words of Privilege Denying Dude in any way. A long time ago in a land far away, I was that dude. Sometimes arguing with said Dudes can be a terribly frustrating experience, and the only thing a sane person is left with is the ability to throw their hands in the air and laugh. Since I’m a cis-gendered, white, heterosexual male, I don’t really think I’m very qualified to jump into the “feminist conversation” proper, so instead, I offer my support for the cause, and my smug face for a good laugh.
Another Note: For those who don’t know about Privilege Denying Dude, please refer to this wonderful article. For those looking for information about why Privilege Denying Dude is so funny, or more about feminism in general, I highly suggest the following blogs: Pandagon, Tiger Beatdown, and Feministing.
Ninja Edit: This post somehow made its way to the front page of Jezebel. They gave me a very kind write-up, and a lot of love in the comments. I’m feeling all gushy now, thanks.
What if the Tea Party were black?
Nailed it.
